Buh-bye 2008

the last day of 2008

i was recalling back what had happened and what i did throughout the whole year..

yet, i realized that is not a really happy and prosperous year to me.

*this is LIFE what i can say?

well, it is not really that SHITTY, think at positive vice, it is a chance for me to learn how to DANCE in stormy RAIN.

*no doubt, there are happy moments too, thanks to my family and friends' support.

i was different than before, i'm able to control myself - my emotions
learning to be extra calm,not being too judgmental, stand strong and independent when facing BREAKDOWNS.

*but i'm still ME, admitted i'm still being judgmental and still trusting my own feeling and experiences.

it is very tough and stretchy.. i wanted to cry out loud, but i know crying is not gonna help..
the mental stress is still there killing me.

cry for better or cry for worse????

i got the answer.


sometimes,
i do not know what should i do..
i do not know what else i can do..
i do not know how to get off from the situation..
i do not know how to let go and just do nothing..
i do not know should i take the responsibility for this?
i do not even know is this really my fu*king business??

it already happened, not thinking about trying to turn back time, it is impossible..

now, i'm PRAYING damn hard and do whatever i can..